Fairy Tales
by pengirl100and2
Summary: Let's just say that L and Light are living one. Warnings: Crack, OOCness, L's true name, and candy.


**Day One**

"Hey, L."

"What." L ate the last tiny bite of his candy, and looked up at Light Yagami.

"Would you do something for me?"

"What do I get?"

Light frowned, shrugged, and dug in his pocket for a small package of gum.

"No."

Light looked at the gum. Whoops. Sugar-free. He checked again, and pulled out a different gum, an untouched, extra-sugary variety. He held it out, almost bored.

L nimbly plucked the gum up and nodded. "Fine."

Light lifted a huge stack of papers off his desk, and gave them to L. "Just… burn these, would you?"

**Day Two**

"Hey, L."

L looked up from his computer, to where Light was standing yet again.

"What is it now?"

"Can you do something else for me?"

L sighed.

Light came prepared this time, and waved a limited edition Hershey's dark chocolate bar with cookie dough chunks.

L frowned and took the candy bar, peeling it open with one slick movement and nibbling the end. "What do you need?"

Light held out a perfectly ordinary drinking straw. "Can you turn this gold for me?"

"I've got some paint around here somewhere." He pulled a small bottle of golden craft paint from his drawer, and stared at the straw. "You realize there is a point six chance-"

"Yeah yeah, just do it~"

**Day Three**

"Hey L-"

"Whatever it is, you better have a really good piece of candy this time."

"I just wanted to ask how you're progressing on the Kira case…" Light pouted.

L observed the tip of his thumb, calculating the chances of piercing the flesh when he bit on it in thought. "I haven't discovered anything new."

Light rolled his eyes and walked away.

**Day Four**

"L-"

"I want ice cream," L said without looking away from the newspaper's report on sugar decreases.

"Actually, I don't have anything. I was hoping to make some other kind of deal."

L drew his lips into a thin line, considering the various possibilities. He smiled a tiny bit at the idea. "I want your first-born child."

Light frowned. "Isn't that a little creepy?"

"Don't you want me to do whatever it wa-"

"Fine." Light dropped a sheet of paper on his desk, a list of websites. "I was supposed to check these out, I don't feel like it."

"Lazy lazy Light-kun," L said, staring at the paper. "This is all I need to do to earn your kid?"

_Like you'll be alive that long,_ Light thought, staring at L with his evil whacked out I-am-Kira glare.

_I really do want ice-cream now, _L thought as he booted up the computer, _maybe some triple chocolate fudge…_

**So, a while passed, and Light forgot about his deal with L, having more important things to think about. However, L did not forget.**

Light was bored one day, and began doodling on a blank sheet of paper. However, it eventually became more than a doodle. It became a sketch… then a drawing… and then… it was _art._

Light added a last little scrawl to the paper, and held the sheet of paper up, waving it around, grinning like a crazy. "It's finished!"

L looked at the paper. "It's a tree."

"It's the most perfect tree in existence! It's like a child to me!"

"Like your first child?"

"Exactly!"

"I want it."

"And it's so- wait, what?"

"We made a deal, Light-kun, first born child in exchange for that work I did for you."

Light made a D: face of the sort that is only possible in anime and texting, eyes going big and watery. "But it's my BABY!"

"How about this, then." L bit his thumb. "Either you can guess my name, or you can have the drawing. There is a ninety six percent chance you won't be able."

Light huffed in a drama queen style, and thought. "Is it… Lars?"

"No."

"…Larry?"

"No."

"Llama?"

"That isn't even a name."

"Is it…" Light paused. Something about this game of guessing names seemed familiar. "Is it…" those shinigami eyes would come in handy right about now. "Ummm…"

"I have a nice frame for your child, too."

Light's face went into that increasingly-common-psycho-I-am-Kira-and-I-am-demented position. "Is it Rumpelstiltskin?"

L frowned, very slowly, and smacked Light across the face, storming off, muttering something about Kira being a cheater.

* * *

**Really, what is this, I don't even... *shrugs***

**I finished reading the Death Note manga today, and let me just say, I loved it, intensely. Now I'm planning to watch the anime (again, I saw it a while ago before I was a fan) and hopefully I'll be less totally and utterly confused by it than the first time I watched. **

**Anyways, enough rambles from me. My first Death Note centric fanfic! Whaddya think? Please leave a review, it means an awful lot to me!**


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